I gave up regular running when I lost my job in 2011. It was too...
When I put my table together in my mind, I realize something. Most of the...
The Old Barb and the New Barb are different. I am still the same person,...
Poetry helped shape me. It has changed meaning as I have gone through the seasons...
I finally went to the Boston Marathon again, contemplated more deep feelings of grief, and saw some old friends from the running community. I think I’m finally ready to join the running community again and get involved in things. In this episode, I...
As we are upon 10 years without Molly, this anniversary hits especially hard. It makes me relive all the days surrounding it, what I was like, what happened, and the connections that I’ve found. In this episode, I go into what has changed over a...
Skyler’s story is full of ups and downs from having a rocky childhood to getting pregnant while addicted to then finding sobriety with a husband that supports her. Through her journey she has posted on social media sharing her story, most recently...
As I got into an argument with Gracie, it made me dive deeper into a topic that’s not talked about enough: sibling grief. People often focus more on the parent’s and not the child that has just lost the person they spent their formative years...
This week, I sat down with my sister Eleanor who had a very different upbringing than me considering our father was 82 when she was born. She talks about the judgements people have, having to work hard to forge connections in the family, and how she...
Michelle and I sat down to have a conversation on her work with the nervous system, biofeedback, neurofeedback, traumatic responses, and addressing the root of a problem. She takes on work that’s not traditional in a therapist’s office, but is so...
When Amy’s best friend's parents were murdered she suddenly didn’t just have a brother, but three new siblings who needed a lot of help after the trauma. That left Amy in limbo with her family dynamics and not feeling like she had a place. It...
In this episode, I just ask for you to sit with me in grief of losing my child. My thoughts on the birth of all my children, what I love, what I miss, and why dates are so important to people who are grieving. I contemplate Jack’s personality and...
I got to talk with Emily, a former runner of mine who was a highliner, dealt with Lyme Disease, chatted about how the cycle of trauma can continue, and the life that she’s living now. A nomadic one with more freedom to run her own business and take...
Filing a lawsuit came with its trials and tribulations, but it also came with a check: dead Molly money. It has taken me so much time to process Molly’s death and put together a foundation. I have finally decided it’s time to really make the...
I’m just angry. I don’t know if I’ll ever stop feeling angry when it comes to certain trauma, but I’m learning new ways to mitigate it. In this episode, I dig into what people think anger is, how I’m mad at myself, and why it’s okay to be...
I watched a movie on how Americans shop and consume, consume, consume. It was terrifying. It was even worse to see the devastating impacts it had on other countries and how quickly people will buy something new if it stops working. Key...
As I go into the holidays and my 9th year grieving, here are some lies surrounding grief that I never stop hearing. Some of them just piss me off and some of them I understand better as I’m farther along. Either way, the important part is that you...
I’m having a not great week and it got me into the lies I constantly tell myself to feel better. The lies around grief, around my life changing, around my business working, around Kenny, and how I have a functioning life. In this episode, I also...
This is a new season all about lies: lies we were told, lies we tell, the morality of it all, and how perception can make a large difference between a lie and the truth. In this episode, I dive into the often silly lies that people were told as...
In the additional step of 13 in AA it talks about if God exists, why do bad things still happen and how he has suffered as much as us. I also see how through my suffering I was able to find great support with my angel moms, even though others have...
In step twelve, it’s time to pass on my teachings to others to help them in recovery. It is about living AA as a lifestyle, going through the steps again and again, while sharing wisdom and expecting nothing in return. In this episode, I dive into...
Step eleven of AA is not about praying for anything to be fixed, it’s about praying for self knowledge and the qualities we need to execute that knowledge. It’s about perhaps changing the way we pray, how we view God’s will, and just taking the...
In step ten of AA it’s all about taking a personal inventory and admitting when you’re wrong about things. It is about being aware of your choices, analyzing them, and trying to reconnect with yourself. In this episode, I explore the negative...
Step nine is all about the act of making amends and a list to go alongside it. It’s made me consider what truth really means, how context plays a part, and how communication can be ruptured if not done correctly. Key Takeaways: ...