I once told someone that if I were to write an autobiography, I would call it “Oh No, Here She Comes!” In fact, years ago I wrote a blog post about my trigeminal neuralgia diagnosis and gave it this title. It is easy to tell when people dread your arrival or stiffen as you approach. I have a strong personality. I get it.
But it still stings.
I have been struggling lately with where I fit in, who I am and how I want to grow. Having Jack and redefining my life has been eye opening. I have received an amazing amount of love and support. Jack is already an icon around town. Everyone knows who he is. We do swimming lessons on Wednesdays. The owner of the swim school is the best friend of Kenny’s 36-year-old daughter Caity. We will not become besties with the other parents in the class.
We could be their parents.
We just started dance lessons at CDA, Gracie’s dance school. In the waiting room, the same one I spent years sitting in with the moms of Molly’s and Gracie’s dance friends, sit the parents of Jack’s soon to be dance friends. We chitchat and enjoy ourselves. But we have little in common with most of these parents. There is nothing wrong with this, we all need to be ourselves.
But it is still difficult.
In my personal and professional life my reality is now very different than my friends and co-corkers. They are done with child rearing. I still see them and interact but my mindset is in a different place. In all areas of my life I am just a bit different.
I have a lot of flexibility in all of my current endeavors. I often work alone. I am finding a like minded group of people in the podcast community. I have been a guest on 6 other podcasts now. I have met amazing people and have been gifted the chance to tell my story. I am growing a following on my own podcast and am hoping to grow it to a worldwide audience.
I do this alone in my home office.
It is human nature to create community. We are not meant to be islands. My social life is all but nonexistent now. All of my away from home time is CrossFit or VLACS or coaching. All of my friends have the freedom to travel and do whatever comes to mind. I have no trouble bringing Jack anywhere and everywhere, but my social group is done with babies! I work out with the most fit athletes in my gym, and all of them are young enough to be my children. We don’t hang out together. So, what table shall I choose in the cafeteria of life?
And then there is my mouth.
My proclivity for saying too much is a lifelong habit of mine. A former supervisor once told me my mouth was a blessing and a curse. I had another co-worker tell me more than once that “thoughts” were called that for a reason…they are things you should not say! I have given terrific speeches and inspired many while at the same time giving well intentioned speeches that were job costing.
So where do I fit in?
In my efforts to connect with other women my age who are entrepreneurial I have come across a wonderful group called Women in Good Company. For someone looking for the popular group I feel like I won the lottery! Led by a woman named Lisa Christine Summerville, this social group is a networking dream. Women from all walks of life connecting to share their experience and skills. There is an online group and website offering services and support. There are also regular gatherings, dinners and drinks, wonderful events held in amazing places. I have enjoyed wine and delicious hors D’oeurves on Plum Island in June. I have experienced a catered meal that was out of this world at an historic Ipswich farm house in September.
I am counting down the days until the next one!
It will be in March in Amesbury. The location is an unbelievably beautiful Victorian home right near downtown. The atmosphere and ambience will radiate, I am sure. While I love the food and spirits, I am most excited to sit in yet another beautiful place and meet amazing women, to have inspiring conversations with people I would not see in my everyday life. Women that are becoming part of my circle. Amesbury is a place I love to spend time in. My CrossFit gym is there. This gym is a place I feel welcome and supported. I love coaching there.
I have no trouble meeting people and generating conversation. I am a good coach because I am a natural motivator. I too, am good at bringing people together. I am hoping to create an online presence where those who share my experiences can find support and community. A place to jump out of your comfort zone and take a chance. A safe spot to let the world see what you have and who you are, even if you feel like you don’t fit in.
I am sharing all of this because I want to support those who are so helpful to me. I also want to show my shaky side. I am not a super hero most of the time. I struggle daily with many things. I have a CrossFit gym where I struggle to fit in and a school board reality that is increasingly isolating. I also have places where I am totally comfortable.
I think I will hang out in those places!
Take a listen to “Introducing Me” and “The Label Free Podcast”. Also “The Vintage Mom’s Podcast.” “She_Nanigans” is another great listen. They have all shared their space with me. Take a look at “Women in Good Company”. If you are a business women or local entrepreneur you will find a lot of talent here. We need to stick together as women in a still very male driven society. We need to support one another. We need to create community.
We need to say “Oh Good! Here She Comes!
https://lisachristine.mykajabi.com/women-in-good-company
https://www.introducingmepodcast.com/e/barb-athletic-mom-and-survivor/
https://sites.libsyn.com/445170/episode-8-finding-joy-in-tragedy-with-barb-higgins
https://www.labelfreepodcast.com/podcast
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/things-that-make-you-go-mmm/id1495909536