I was sexually abused as a child and it still impacts me at almost 60 years old. It took me a long time to be able to tell this story and to look back at the psychological impact that these terrible experiences had on me. It was a confusing time where I lost so much of myself, but telling this story has been cathartic. If you need help there are resources below.
Key Takeaways:
[2:45] My mom was a stay at home mother and my dad worked a lot
[4:20] First instance of sexual abuse
[6:46] It happening again and feeling terrible for not saying anything
[9:40] First physical incident and the fear it created in me
[14:28] Being abused constantly in 5th grade
[18:04] Setting fire to my clothing
[19:07] My social life began to tank in 5th grade
[21:30] Being aware of my sexuality
[23:35] Being abused again, but having a better understanding
[25:07] Going to the ER for asthma and feeling safe in the hospital
[26:32] Being abused in 6th grade and hypervigilance
[28:59] Having to get my siblings ready in the morning
[31:08] Beginning to understand the full scope of sexual abuse
[33:16] The last abuse attempt and telling my mom
[35:23] Looking back on the psychological changes in me
[37:41] Family history of abuse and generational trauma
[39:41] Struggling with sleeping with a lot of people in my early twenties
[42:54] Isolating myself, depression, and exhaustion
[45:14] Reexperiencing trauma and hypervigilance
[47:14] Parental support helped save me
[47:44] My response to sexual abuse
[50:41] How being abused affected my parenting
[52:33] Getting very sick in the hospital and not eating
[53:59] The good and the bad in my life
[56:18] Releasing these words is cathartic to me
[57:14] Victims are not at fault for being assaulted
[57:39] Losing parts of myself, but continuing to push forward
Resources:
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