When I put my table together in my mind, I realize something. Most of the...
The Old Barb and the New Barb are different. I am still the same person,...
Poetry helped shape me. It has changed meaning as I have gone through the seasons...
I have been reading so many wonderful books to learn more abuse, relationships, and illness within the body. These books have allowed me to examine my own actions and shame that comes with being abused. In this episode, I explore my actions that lead...
Throughout my research on grief and trauma I have learned so much about the connection between the mind and body and how grief affects them, while discussing my own experiences of EMDR therapy and having my brain tumors taken out. In this episode, I...
Although I have gone through tremendous grief, I have a large support system to help me through it. From online support groups to connecting with other mothers in grief and reconnecting with high school friends, my social network has cast far and...
As a result of trauma, boundaries have been a lifelong struggle for me. From my friendship with Robin, my friendship with Steph, and my job loss at Bow boundary crossing has followed me. I explore these 3 events in my life and how trauma has affected...
My daughters have been dancing in the Christmas Show even since they were little. When Molly died traditions in my household changed and I began to see things differently. From starting to raffle off a basket full of things Molly loved, to fundraising...
Hanging on to the physical things our loved ones leave behind in grief is an odd subject. For a long time I couldn’t get rid of, or move anything of Molly’s. When I finally started to get rid of or donate items, it was a difficult journey. In this...
Molly loved the holidays, and learning to live without her for them has been crushing. Over the past 5 years I’ve tried to distract myself and my family by going to Disney for Christmas, or helping others. The feeling of losing holidays as they used...
In 2016, I felt paralyzed by grief. In between it all I found an attorney, helped my daughter through her grief, and talked to others in my grief groups. When 2017 rolled around, I started working again while juggling a million things on my plate. It...
Planning Molly’s funeral and memorial was a difficult task while I kept my head above water. It was a whirlwind of 2 quick weeks where I made tough emotional decisions on what her funeral and musical would be like. Through it all, I had amazing...
In this episode, I look back on the few months leading up to Molly’s death and in particular, her last week alive. The few months leading up to Molly’s death were frustrating, and I worried as her condition worsened. Come along with me as I look...
My daughters Gracie and Molly have an inseparable bond. As they’ve grown up throughout the years, they’ve had great times with dance and theatre, as well as struggles with friends and school. At the same time, I had my own struggles with my...
Long before I lost Molly, I lost my first baby, Gordy from a heart defect and his loss followed me. I didn’t plan on having kids, but Gordy was the first in a chain reaction of interesting events, and through time has shown me each of my children...
The trauma, grief, and guilt that comes with child loss is immense. My day to day life changed after my daughter Molly died, but with the help of online grief groups I've been able to work on my trauma. Not only has my life changed, but my daughter's...
When Jack was born it made me think of his future, the support system he has, and how I have to be mindful of my trauma when parenting. Child loss and grief have impacted how I parent and made me express my gratitude for others in my life on a daily...
Times have changed from when I had my first child to now. My parenting style, social media use, and the changing culture about what makes a family has had profound effects on me. Stemming from the generational gaps in my household and the trauma...
When I had Jack, my phone would not stop ringing. From Good Morning America to The Today Show my story has been shared to thousands of people. I have had so many positive responses, but along with the positive came the stress and consequences of...
In this episode, I go more in depth about my emotional experience being pregnant and giving birth. From my friends and family’s reaction to me having a baby and dealing with the difficulties of breastfeeding it was a wild ride. Key...
Being an older mother had its challenges from doing two IVF transfers to dealing with preeclampsia. In this episode, I discuss my IVF experience, keeping my pregnancy a secret for months, and the journey of Jack’s birth. Key...
Having a baby was far from my mind in this episode as we dive into my medical tragedies and of course, the wonderful support system I met along the way. From my brain tumors, to my jaw surgery, to Kenny receiving a kidney, and the joy that came from...
Having a baby at 57 was a long journey between having surgery, struggling with my medication, going through a lawsuit, and trying to keep my families heads above water. In this episode, I am going to dive into the process of having Jack, the...