Family can mean so many different things, but as my daughter returns home after leaving...
May is doing what everything does in the grieving process, it is morphing and changing...
The circle of life for me is too often coming back, again and again to...
When I was younger, New Year’s Eve was a time to play outside and eat a lot with friends. As I grew older, it was a holiday synonymous with alcohol. My friends and I would go to parties, stay up all night, and get blackout drunk. When I became a mom...
The holidays are time markers and they remind me of what I’ve lost. They also remind me of all the expectations society has around holidays and the hypocrisy of it all. After losing Molly it was too difficult to celebrate the holidays. Now that I...
Sexual abuse has impacted me in many ways: issues with overgiving, boundaries, people pleasing, shame, and intimacy have followed me in my life. I have suffered in physical pain to ignore emotional discomfort with these emotions. This has shown me...
I really, really struggle with self sabotage in every aspect of my life. From relationships, to not following through on things, to recreating trauma. It is an endless battle. I am working to better myself by being introspective and examining why I...
After my daughter’s death I began to truly feel my age sink in. I gained weight, had trauma induced menopause, and body dysmorphia. I struggled and not only lost my daughter, but lost many people I cared for in life. Nothing was the same and trying...
Intergenerational trauma is something that has plagued my family and I’m trying to change it, but it feels like a burden to bear. Growing up, having to keep secrets and not having my basic needs met has made me evaluate how that’s impacted my...
I was sexually abused as a child and it still impacts me at almost 60 years old. It took me a long time to be able to tell this story and to look back at the psychological impact that these terrible experiences had on me. It was a confusing time where...
Elementary school and the 60s feels like the last time I felt okay before I began 4th grade. My mom was a young mom, my dad worked all day, and I spent my summers outside at the public pool. When school was in session I dealt with sexist teachers and...
My senior year was filled with academics - and a little cocaine. As crazy as I partied in college, I also took advantage of my full scholarship to BU and got a masters degree in a year. I grew as a person and became much more of an adult, even when I...
My sophomore year was a fantastic year for me. I finally started staying at BU on the weekends and I had found a group of friends. I broke up with Jay and began a healthy relationship with David which has had a substantial impact on my life. To top it...
The first semester of my senior year was horrible. I dealt with a subpar cross country coach, argued with my friends, lost several races, my drinking got worse, and I had an abortion. I went into a depression and it was only the second half of my...
I went Into junior year a different person: I wasn’t with science guy anymore, I had a table at lunch, and my running improved. Along with the good there was such chaos though. My drinking problems began and I got into unsafe relationships with...
I’ve made it one year as a podcaster! This is such an accomplishment for me and I’m excited to see the progress I’ve made. I can’t wait to bring you along as I continue to write blog posts, podcast episodes, and expand into building my...
As I look back on my professional life, I realize that I’ve been asked to leave almost every job I’ve had. I’ve ignored so many red flags from nasty coworkers to recognizing my own issues with following rules and having boundaries. In this...
When I moved back to Concord, I didn’t have a large group of friends and I had to build my social circle up again. There were so many important people in my life that made a big impact at one point and changed the path I was on. From spending time...
In this episode, I reflect on the birthdays I’ve had, my age, and my mortality. Age is a concept that has changed over time for me. I used to think 50 was old, and now I realize I still have so much life to live ahead of me. As I ponder how I will...
Remembering the birth of Gracie and Molly has brought up raw emotion within me. I envisioned this white picket fence life: 2 kids, a loving husband, and a big house in a good neighborhood. That is not how life turned out in the slightest. Dealing with...
When Kenny and I met it was a time of chaos. We were both getting a divorce from our ex partners and trying to juggle the realities of adulthood. Our relationship was built on a solid friendship and I imagined what my life would entail, but that got...
Going to my first AA meeting in the 90s was a positive step in recognizing I had an issue with alcohol. Throughout my life I’ve had an on and off relationship with alcohol that has been difficult to manage. As I recount my experiences from 30 years...
In the fall of 1989 I returned to Concord after almost 10 years in Boston. I needed a fresh start: to get sober, to get into a good relationship, to get out of debt, and to start my career as a teacher. In order to achieve all that, I turned down...