When I put my table together in my mind, I realize something. Most of the...
The Old Barb and the New Barb are different. I am still the same person,...
Poetry helped shape me. It has changed meaning as I have gone through the seasons...
After my daughter’s death I began to truly feel my age sink in. I gained weight, had trauma induced menopause, and body dysmorphia. I struggled and not only lost my daughter, but lost many people I cared for in life. Nothing was the same and trying...
Intergenerational trauma is something that has plagued my family and I’m trying to change it, but it feels like a burden to bear. Growing up, having to keep secrets and not having my basic needs met has made me evaluate how that’s impacted my...
I was sexually abused as a child and it still impacts me at almost 60 years old. It took me a long time to be able to tell this story and to look back at the psychological impact that these terrible experiences had on me. It was a confusing time where...
Episode 62: Trauma Showing up in Patterns
Trying to find my way in the workplace was not an easy task for me. Dealing with coworkers and bosses who didn’t like me while trying to manage my life behind the scenes made my head spin. In this episode, I discuss how trauma impacted my...
My senior year was filled with academics - and a little cocaine. As crazy as I partied in college, I also took advantage of my full scholarship to BU and got a masters degree in a year. I grew as a person and became much more of an adult, even when I...
The first semester of my freshman year of college was a difficult transition. It was an odd time in between being a teenager and an adult who had to handle things themselves. Learning time management skills, dealing with a coach that pushed me too...
The first semester of my senior year was horrible. I dealt with a subpar cross country coach, argued with my friends, lost several races, my drinking got worse, and I had an abortion. I went into a depression and it was only the second half of my...
I went Into junior year a different person: I wasn’t with science guy anymore, I had a table at lunch, and my running improved. Along with the good there was such chaos though. My drinking problems began and I got into unsafe relationships with...
I’ve made it one year as a podcaster! This is such an accomplishment for me and I’m excited to see the progress I’ve made. I can’t wait to bring you along as I continue to write blog posts, podcast episodes, and expand into building my...
The lines are often blurred to me on what’s okay to share and what’s not. When a student came to me sharing that they were in a relationship with a teacher, I shared my own story of how I was in a relationship with my teacher, “science guy”...
Connecting with siblings I didn’t live with, creating a track camp, and going through a 15 year period where I worked to redefine myself was a lot. In the 90s I spent a ton of time connecting with my siblings that I never really got to know and I...
As I look back on my professional life, I realize that I’ve been asked to leave almost every job I’ve had. I’ve ignored so many red flags from nasty coworkers to recognizing my own issues with following rules and having boundaries. In this...
When I moved back to Concord, I didn’t have a large group of friends and I had to build my social circle up again. There were so many important people in my life that made a big impact at one point and changed the path I was on. From spending time...
Family is a complicated word that has so many meanings, but I think that at the end of the day it’s about creating a community. Over the years I have worked to create my chosen family, alongside my biological one and I encourage my children to do...
In this episode, I reflect on the birthdays I’ve had, my age, and my mortality. Age is a concept that has changed over time for me. I used to think 50 was old, and now I realize I still have so much life to live ahead of me. As I ponder how I will...
Remembering the birth of Gracie and Molly has brought up raw emotion within me. I envisioned this white picket fence life: 2 kids, a loving husband, and a big house in a good neighborhood. That is not how life turned out in the slightest. Dealing with...
When Kenny and I met it was a time of chaos. We were both getting a divorce from our ex partners and trying to juggle the realities of adulthood. Our relationship was built on a solid friendship and I imagined what my life would entail, but that got...
After 11 weeks, I got married - to a narcissist. I didn’t recognize the signs: I was his third wife, younger than him, and he isolated me from family and friends. Marrying him was an impulsive choice accelerated by trauma bonds left unhealed. As I...
Going to my first AA meeting in the 90s was a positive step in recognizing I had an issue with alcohol. Throughout my life I’ve had an on and off relationship with alcohol that has been difficult to manage. As I recount my experiences from 30 years...
In the fall of 1989 I returned to Concord after almost 10 years in Boston. I needed a fresh start: to get sober, to get into a good relationship, to get out of debt, and to start my career as a teacher. In order to achieve all that, I turned down...