crossfit

motherland book

Motherland: A Memoir

by Barb Higgins ・ Proceeds go to The Molly B Foundation

Episode 53: One Year as a Podcaster!

I’ve made it one year as a podcaster! This is such an accomplishment for me and I’m excited to see the progress I’ve made. I can’t wait to bring you along as I continue to write blog posts, podcast episodes, and expand into building my...

Episode 52: I was in a Relationship with my Teacher

The lines are often blurred to me on what’s okay to share and what’s not. When a student came to me sharing that they were in a relationship with a teacher, I shared my own story of how I was in a relationship with my teacher, “science guy”...

Episode 51: I Spent 15 Years Redefining Myself

Connecting with siblings I didn’t live with, creating a track camp, and going through a 15 year period where I worked to redefine myself was a lot. In the 90s I spent a ton of time connecting with my siblings that I never really got to know and I...

Episode 50: I struggle with Boundaries at Work

As I look back on my professional life, I realize that I’ve been asked to leave almost every job I’ve had. I’ve ignored so many red flags from nasty coworkers to recognizing my own issues with following rules and having boundaries. In this...

Episode 49: People that have Impacted my Life

When I moved back to Concord, I didn’t have a large group of friends and I had to build my social circle up again. There were so many important people in my life that made a big impact at one point and changed the path I was on. From spending time...

Episode 47: Contemplating my Mortality

In this episode, I reflect on the birthdays I’ve had, my age, and my mortality. Age is a concept that has changed over time for me. I used to think 50 was old, and now I realize I still have so much life to live ahead of me. As I ponder how I will...

Episode 46: The Birth of Gracie and Molly

Remembering the birth of Gracie and Molly has brought up raw emotion within me. I envisioned this white picket fence life: 2 kids, a loving husband, and a big house in a good neighborhood. That is not how life turned out in the slightest. Dealing with...

Episode 45: How Kenny and I Met

When Kenny and I met it was a time of chaos. We were both getting a divorce from our ex partners and trying to juggle the realities of adulthood. Our relationship was built on a solid friendship and I imagined what my life would entail, but that got...

Episode 44: I got Married After 11 Weeks of Dating

After 11 weeks, I got married - to a narcissist. I didn’t recognize the signs: I was his third wife, younger than him, and he isolated me from family and friends. Marrying him was an impulsive choice accelerated by trauma bonds left unhealed. As I...

Episode 43: Admitting I was an Alcoholic

Going to my first AA meeting in the 90s was a positive step in recognizing I had an issue with alcohol. Throughout my life I’ve had an on and off relationship with alcohol that has been difficult to manage. As I recount my experiences from 30 years...

Episode 40: Setting Goals and Finding my Chakras

As I find out more about the energy within my body I am compelled to better myself through my diet and exercise. While I look inward, I also look at the past to see how the people around me have grown and changed. Processing these emotions has been...

Episode 39: I’m a Helicopter Parent

Helicopter parenting has become a buzzword that everybody is talking about and I am one of them. Sort of. I let my baby go to daycare when I never let my older children out of sight with someone I didn’t know, but as the world has changed so have I....

Episode 38: My Life is not What I Imagined

When I was younger, I didn’t imagine my life going like this. Losing Molly, having Jack, letting go of expectations, and having to find closure has had its struggles. As I ponder on how my life is different from what I expected, I also have...

Episode 37: Raising Jack in a Country with Political Strife

Roe vs. Wade and Molly’s death week happening at the same time sent me into an anxious fury this week. The politics happening in America made me ponder the values I’m instilling in Jack and how that will impact him. In this episode, I dive into...

Episode 36: Trauma Impacts my Family Unit

My family and the support I have has changed significantly compared to 20 years ago. It’s caused me to examine my choices, take ownership for them, and acknowledge my trauma. In this episode, I look to the past and the future to see how trauma has...

Episode 35: Technology has Changed my Parenting

The internet is a beautiful tool that has helped me find the answers to any questions I have, but it has also dampened executive functioning in kids. Not only is the internet a double-edged sword, but the tools parents use today are too. From the...

Episode 34: Gaining Perspective as a Parent

As I’ve grown older as a parent, I’ve also gained so much perspective on life. There are so many differences between raising Jack versus Gracie and Molly from childcare arrangements, breastfeeding, and the relationships around me changing. In this...

Episode 33: My Daily Life with Jack

My daily life with Jack is very different than with Gracie and Molly. When Gracie and Molly were young we were paying a mortgage and working full-time. Now I have more freedom to spend time with Jack and travel. In this episode, I dive into my day to...

Episode 32: How my Parenting Changed with Jack

Molly’s birthday will always be a tough time for me and although I can remember the good times, it doesn’t take away the bad. This episode made me ponder Jack growing up in a grief stricken home, the age difference between his siblings, and how...

Episode 31: Accepting and Healing from Trauma

As I look to the next chapter of my healing, I am working on confronting my trauma and coping from it. Being self aware and mindful of my relationships with others has been a struggle, but learning how to utilize gratitude and create room for trauma...